Office by Alex Penny
A right up your alleyway outlet for GTFO moments brought to you by that not-so-lovely-at-times-yet-ever-so-otherwise-caring significant Other
Hmm…Table! :D
(via penworthy)
*BF is still jobless. Spent the weekend playing WoW.*
GF:
- $200 in groceries ✓
- $60 in cat treatment ✓
- Swept whole apartment ✓
- Cleared and disinfected all countertops ✓
- Scrubbed the bathtub ✓
BF: So, I want to go to concert tonight. It’s $20…
GF: 
GO ROT IN A PLAGUE-INFESTED CORNER!
BF: All right! I’m finally going to do some pc cleaning! I will be deleting a ton of useless info and files from my computer today.
GF: Does this winter-cleaning include the pictures of your naked ex-gf who is posing with your acoustic guitar between her legs?
After one of those ridiculously long days…
GF: “Alright, honey: I emptied the litter box, swept the hallway and bedroom, cleaned the toilet. I put the toilet paper out. Could you at least please take care of that?”
BF: “Sure…”
*GF wakes up in the morning and finds the toilet paper still in its bag, on the floor, NOT on the roller.*
GF: “Um…honey?”
BF: “WHAT? I didn’t use it, so I didn’t think about it.”
GF:
Gf: Sweetie, we need to make sure the kitty’s litter is fresh at all times. I’d really appreciate it if you’d help me with this. I’m tired of having to scoop for poop alone.
Bf: Yeeeaaaah. Well, I need help with loading the dishwasher and you don’t see ME making a fuss about it.
Gf: 
*Bf calls internet service provider because the internet is not working as it should. Elapsed time on the phone with said provider: 2 hours and 15 minutes. Resolution: None. A dialogue develops between Bf & Gf while he’s put on hold.*
Bf: I wish I was you sometimes.
Gf: Aww (?)
Bf: Totally. If only (right now) I could sound as pissed off as you usually are. That would be awesome.
Gf: … 
Gf: Hey honey. Whatchu up to?
Bf: Nothing.
*Bf grabs jacket*
Gf: Oh! Going out?
Bf: Yup.
Gf: Where to?
Bf: Coffee.
Gf: All…righty then.
—-
Bf: So whatchu up to?
Gf: Just…drawing.
Bf: Oh, well…could you PLEASE be more vague? I SO hate it when you do this!!!
Gf: 
*Bf comes into room while Gf is busy (she works from home)*
Bf: Gonna have some coffee with Joe.
Gf: Great, honey.
*Bf goes into the study*
*Bf comes back a few minutes later*
Bf: Ok, I’m gone!
Gf: Oh, great! Is Joe on his way?
Bf: Joe? Oh…nono. That din’t pan out.
Gf: So you’re going for coffee alone?
Bf: Um, NO? Ima go have coffee with Mary.
Gf: Mary?
Bf: Friend. We used to fool around.
Gf: Oh. Ok! Have fun!
*Bf leaves*
*Gf and Bf get together two hours later*
Gf: How did it go, honey?
Bf: Ok?
Gf: How is she doing?
Bf: Fine? Ugh. Her dog was all over me.
Gf: Dogs are allowed to sit with you inside coffee shops here?
Bf: In the coffee shop? WTF, No. We were at at her place.
Gf: …
Bf: After coffee, she wanted to show me something, so we went to her place.
GF: ORLY?
BF: Oh yes, some extra meat on women is always good.
GF: Then why do all your porn vids feature on-the-bone-skinny-12-year-old-looking-girls?
